first off, looking back at some of these photographs really makes me realize that we go to bodega maybe a little too much. hopefully soon your rice & beans only diet will evolve a little bit. oh well, i’ll still love you either way. i always found it a bit sad that i never had any letters from my dad, to go back and read after he was gone. it took me til you were four years old to feel like this was something i wanted to do. unfortunately, he didn’t get that long with me so i won’t hold it against him. i want nothing more than to live as long as possible so i can continue to be your dad, and watch you continue to grow into the human i know you will. but in the event my time runs out, i want you to have these pictures and these words so you never forget how much i love you.
i hope by the time you read this, that things are much different. right now it seems like no one lives their lives for themselves, but rather to make themselves look like their life is just super-fucking-awesome, like all the time. i hope that by now you know, life isn’t always super-fucking-awesome. it gets tough, tiring, overwhelming. without a doubt, at times you will feel defeated, and that’s okay. surround yourself with people that love you, and they will build you back up. it is the people like this, that make your life awesome. the long term friends who know a side of you that i won’t ever be able to know (that’s also okay). so please take a lot of pictures to remember these people, and to catalog your lives together. don’t take pictures to make other people feel left out, or to try and prove how great your life is. i’ve found that our own happiness is better kept a secret. i hope that you’ll look through the photographs of my life and feel how great of a journey it has been. what an honor it’s been to just exist. from being your dad, to visiting amazing places with my friends, and just simply capturing my every day. this is what photography is for.
put a roll of provia 100f through my fuji ga645zi, and one of the first rolls developed at home (in fucked up chemicals that got mixed wrong). so there is a lot more forgiveness in the development process than i thought! most of the roll is from wandering around a ‘pull a part’ junk yard. some old transit busses and nice colors for slide film. the medium format slides look so rad in person. i spend more time than i’ll admit looking at them all on a light board. so now i have to figure out how to get out of this “i only want to shoot slide film” phase that i’m in. peace.
my film advance has been acting weird lately, so i only got thirteen shots on this roll. anyways, this is fresh fuji 160ns shot through my fuji ga645zi over the course of a day spent with my best friend in the back country of florida. towards sunset, we ended up at the citrus county speedway for some real florida man style racing, and it was a pretty fucking awesome. a guy there even told us that “shit is much more simple here” and i’m not mad at that.
a thirty year expired roll of velvia 50 shot over the course of two months and processed/scanned by the darkroom. it was a weird time for me, and i struggled to find inspiration to take photos with my brain preoccupied with my own shit. people come and go and this for me is a reminder of that. when i look at each of them i remember where i was at in my own head, so in this case i don’t really feel like i was trying to capture anything but my own feelings. sixteen images from this roll of 220 are up in physical form at cafe hey. thanks for looking.
ps: i listened to this album on repeat for pretty much a month straight. it’s phenomenal and helped me through it.
trying to play catch up and get some of these photos somewhere other than in my dresser drawer. just some medium format shots (with my apparent affinity for telephone poles) from the last few months. from tampa/dade city/sarasota/st. petersburg/brooksville.
last night was the first run of developing at home in my bath tub, with some guidance from dylan. everything was scanned in at 1:27-2:03AM. i really should sleep more. some weird tones that make me feel like i did something wrong, and i’m still trying to figure out what. gotta start somewhere.