some of my favorites from the last three months. a mix of my bessa r3m, contax g1, and olympus xa2. developed + scanned at home. i haven’t even went public with this project yet, besides sending it to a few close friends. i’m not not sure what direction i want to take it in, other than having an outlet to share the photographs i make. it’s not the kind of stuff that people on instagram want to see, but it’s my life and thats why it is so important to me. i ditched that shit because people don’t want to make photos for themselves to remember anymore, it’s more about ‘curating’ a life that seems better than everyone else’s. it’s weird seeing people you fuck with start to act like someone that they aren’t on the internet. what good does it do? to be so unauthentic at trying to convince people that you’re authentic? my life is pretty standard: i’m a single parent, my house is usually a mess (a 4 out of 10, so not too bad), and i work a lot. my free time is spent doing shit that makes me happy. reading, spending time with daughter, maintaining relationships with my friends/family, riding my bike, documenting my life with a camera, and two weeks out of the year i try and travel and see new places. i wanted some place i could share my thoughts + photos and this seems like the best place for that, for now. so if you’re reading, thank you.
still trying to my find my place here. in this city/timeline/myself. music gets me closer to that, and here’s some of the stuff i’ve been bumping lately: memorytapes:three. new stuff up at cafe hey. i wrote a lot of words to accompany them and they’re still sitting infront of me on my desk.
put a roll of provia 100f through my fuji ga645zi, and one of the first rolls developed at home (in fucked up chemicals that got mixed wrong). so there is a lot more forgiveness in the development process than i thought! most of the roll is from wandering around a ‘pull a part’ junk yard. some old transit busses and nice colors for slide film. the medium format slides look so rad in person. i spend more time than i’ll admit looking at them all on a light board. so now i have to figure out how to get out of this “i only want to shoot slide film” phase that i’m in. peace.
with the amount of time spent learning how to do all this film processing, trying to do things in the most efficient and correct ways, making mistakes, figuring out how to fix or compensate for those mistakes. i’ve learned to even more appreciate music. a lot of these are throwbacks of some of the first bands that got me into post-rock/ambient music, but they still resonate with me. so here’s memorytapes:two, hope you enjoy.
my film advance has been acting weird lately, so i only got thirteen shots on this roll. anyways, this is fresh fuji 160ns shot through my fuji ga645zi over the course of a day spent with my best friend in the back country of florida. towards sunset, we ended up at the citrus county speedway for some real florida man style racing, and it was a pretty fucking awesome. a guy there even told us that “shit is much more simple here” and i’m not mad at that.
all of these were shot on a contax g1 / carl zeiss 45mm planar over the course of (i hate to say it) about five months. processed at home. negatives scanned with a nikon coolscan v ed. for whatever reason, the g1 kit didn’t feel right for me when i first started using it, so i put it away for awhile. these photos are so sharp for 35mm – and i see the hype around the lens now: it’s so sharp and versatile. typically a 45mm lens would be too ‘close’ for me, but it’s helped me work on composing shots a little differently. you’ve got to work a little harder to fit what you want in the frame, but i think i’m okay with that.
i’m still trying to find the direction i want to take this. it’s turning out harder than i expected to do anything but just post photos. i’m so jaded by seeing people try so hard, to ‘create content’. even in the film community, they obsess over instagram. i never wanted to put all this time and effort into photos that would be looked at for a quarter of a second, double tapped, and then never looked at again. fuck that, that isn’t me. i want to live my life and take photos of the people/places/things that make it worth remembering. i want to take better photos. i want to try new development methods, learn how to shoot long exposures without blowing the lights out so fucking bright, publish my photography in print on the walls of my favorite places, make a photo-book. i just want to keep learning. so for now, all that makes sense is to keep taking pictures.