after work, i ride my bike downtown. i walk around and get my mind off of work/life/shitty people. i shoot a roll of film and listen to music. observing the city to my own track list. even though at this point it’s all familiar to me, i take it in. hoping to be changed by something or someone. lately, i’ve been inspired on how i don’t want to live my life: glued to my phone, too busy peering into someones perfect life to live my own. so here i am, further motivated to live my own life. to catalog it in writing and photographs. ones that will help me remember my good and bad days. i’m still learning the concept of a home. having my own, and being at peace when i’m here. it’s important for not only me, but for avery to have a place that can’t get taken away from us. i see so many people (even friends) fighting a constant battle with always having to be somewhere new. to prove how exciting their life, and masking running away from their real life under the trigger word, wanderlust. we’re meant to root.
the photographs below were taken with a bessa r3m, a mix of glass (zeiss 35/2 + nokton 40/1,4), with portra 400, developed and scanned at home.
some of my favorites from the last three months. a mix of my bessa r3m, contax g1, and olympus xa2. developed + scanned at home. i haven’t even went public with this project yet, besides sending it to a few close friends. i’m not not sure what direction i want to take it in, other than having an outlet to share the photographs i make. it’s not the kind of stuff that people on instagram want to see, but it’s my life and thats why it is so important to me. i ditched that shit because people don’t want to make photos for themselves to remember anymore, it’s more about ‘curating’ a life that seems better than everyone else’s. it’s weird seeing people you fuck with start to act like someone that they aren’t on the internet. what good does it do? to be so unauthentic at trying to convince people that you’re authentic? my life is pretty standard: i’m a single parent, my house is usually a mess (a 4 out of 10, so not too bad), and i work a lot. my free time is spent doing shit that makes me happy. reading, spending time with daughter, maintaining relationships with my friends/family, riding my bike, documenting my life with a camera, and two weeks out of the year i try and travel and see new places. i wanted some place i could share my thoughts + photos and this seems like the best place for that, for now. so if you’re reading, thank you.
still trying to my find my place here. in this city/timeline/myself. music gets me closer to that, and here’s some of the stuff i’ve been bumping lately: memorytapes:three. new stuff up at cafe hey. i wrote a lot of words to accompany them and they’re still sitting infront of me on my desk.
put a roll of provia 100f through my fuji ga645zi, and one of the first rolls developed at home (in fucked up chemicals that got mixed wrong). so there is a lot more forgiveness in the development process than i thought! most of the roll is from wandering around a ‘pull a part’ junk yard. some old transit busses and nice colors for slide film. the medium format slides look so rad in person. i spend more time than i’ll admit looking at them all on a light board. so now i have to figure out how to get out of this “i only want to shoot slide film” phase that i’m in. peace.
with the amount of time spent learning how to do all this film processing, trying to do things in the most efficient and correct ways, making mistakes, figuring out how to fix or compensate for those mistakes. i’ve learned to even more appreciate music. a lot of these are throwbacks of some of the first bands that got me into post-rock/ambient music, but they still resonate with me. so here’s memorytapes:two, hope you enjoy.
my film advance has been acting weird lately, so i only got thirteen shots on this roll. anyways, this is fresh fuji 160ns shot through my fuji ga645zi over the course of a day spent with my best friend in the back country of florida. towards sunset, we ended up at the citrus county speedway for some real florida man style racing, and it was a pretty fucking awesome. a guy there even told us that “shit is much more simple here” and i’m not mad at that.